There was a man in the produce section of a supermarket who told the produce assistant that he
wanted to buy half a head of lettuce. The assistant told the man that they only sold whole heads of
lettuce. At this the customer demanded to see the manager. So the produce assistant went back to
the manager, and said, “Some idiot out there wants to buy a half-head of lettuce.” Just then he
noticed the customer standing behind him, so he quickly added, “And this nice gentleman wants to
buy the other half.”
Well, the customer got his half head of lettuce and went on his way, and the manager said to the
assistant, “I’m impressed with the way you got yourself out of that one! Where are you from, son?”
And he replied, “From Canada, sir.” And the manager said, “Why did you leave Canada?” The boy
said, “Well, there’s nobody up there but hicks and hockey players.” The manager replied, “My wife is
from Canada.” “No kidding,” the boy replied, “Who’d she play for?”
The human tongue can be our best friend and our worst enemy. This morning James focuses
specifically on its power and potential danger in the portion of his letter that we heard a few
moments ago. As you recall, two weeks ago we heard James implore us not just to be hearers of
the word, but doers of the word as well. He began to paint a picture of what being ‘doers of the
word’ looks like, and this morning he continues in that vein. Specifically, he identifies the damage
that can be done by the human tongue, and urges us not to be parties to that damage.
But first, a quick disclaimer. Sometimes a person or two will come up after a sermon and ask guiltily
if I had them in mind when I wrote it. I just want to say right now that, other than myself and my own
weaknesses, the answer, in advance, is “no.” But I will say that sins of the tongue are pretty
universal, as we’ll soon see. So don’t get too comfortable!
I’ve taken the liberty of dividing these “sins of the tongue” into three categories: words of error,
words of anger, and words of gossip. The first of these James specifically identifies, and the other
two are logical inferences drawn from what James is writing. I hope to present these along with a few
suggested antidotes to keep us from doing what James warns us against.
First, words of error. James begins by pointing out the special responsibilities involved in being a
teacher of the Word. He says that not all that many people should take this on, because
teachers will be judged with greater strictness than others. Oh how I wish more leaders in our own
denomination would take these words to heart. Because the transmission of the intact apostolic
faith is a sacred trust. Jesus himself was very clear on this. He once warned that “it’s better that
one have a millstone hung around ones’ neck and be thrown into the sea than to lead one of these
little ones astray.” In a couple weeks we’re going to take a closer look at that one. I’m afraid with
some of the freewheeling liberties some are taking, that the millstone factories have been working
overtime. Our understanding of who Jesus is and what he means to us is not up for grabs. This one’
s long since been settled.
Nevertheless, this isn’t always easy. Because our culture lavishly encourages us to stake out an
opinion on just about any and every issue under the sun. And this in and of itself isn’t necessarily a
bad thing. It’s part of the joy of living in freedom.
But when it comes to our faith, we’re dealing at times with spiritual life and death issues. It’s pretty
important that we get it as right as we possibly can, as James tells us.
So, what’s the antidote for words of error? Well, this is a little tricky, because these days some of
the people who are supposed to know better and be experts, have themselves wandered off the
map. But generally we can take our lead from our forebears in the church. When there were issues
to be settled in the church’s early days, well-informed leaders would get together and talk the issues
through until there was some kind of resolution. This was the function of the Church Councils. If you’
ve ever taken the time to read their works, I’m confident that you’ve concluded, as I have, that their
views on scripture and its interpretation are very well-informed and reliable. Most responsible
writings about our faith take their conclusions very much into account.
Otherwise, it’s advisable for us to go to one or more trusted, mature Christians and talk the issue in
question through until each of us feels reasonably certain that in our coaching and discipling of
others, we’ll be sharing words of truth and not words of error.
This kind of feedback is one of my more favorite things to do, and my door is enthusiastically open if
you ever would like input about any particular issue having to do with our faith. I’ll try to help
however I can.
The second category of sins of the tongue is words of anger. James says that the tongue is a fire,
and that an entire forest can be set ablaze by it. Like a match struck carelessly in a tinder-dry
forest, ill-tempered or impulsive words can have unintended and far-reaching consequences.
James tells us that this is something we all struggle with. He admits, “No one can tame the tongue.”
I have to say, I can identify with this particular weakness perhaps more than any other. I grew up in
a family with an older brother who was pretty tough, and in his boyhood, pretty impatient with some
of the obnoxious behavior of his kid brother. I quickly figured out that I couldn’t really stand in the
ring with him, so I developed a pretty sharp and potent tongue. This didn’t exactly earn me immunity
from his anger, but did make me feel better for a moment or two, before the inevitable and natural
consequences of my actions. The point is, I certainly didn’t and still don’t add any great measure of
harmony to the world by letting my tongue run away with me. In fact, I’m afraid most of us probably
underestimate the amount of personal hurt our tongues can cause when we give them free rein.
James is right in giving this problem prominence, especially as we try to walk the talk of following
Jesus.
As for the antidote to words of anger, there are a couple of hints we can draw both from old truisms
and from some experience dealing with conflict. You’ve heard it said that it’s a good idea to count to
ten before responding when angry. I’m inclined to recommend a number closer to 1000. In fact,
doing family therapy I often advised that, if you even have any doubt as to whether you might say or
do something in your anger that you’ll later regret, you tell the other person that you need to take a
time out, then get away to a safe, calm place for at least a half hour to let your anger settle and think
through to a constructive (or at least nondestructive) response. And then, when you’re in a little
calmer fame of mind, it’s very important, if at all possible, to go the person with whom you’re angry,
and deal with them directly rather than enlisting others as allies by spreading angry words about the
person.
And here’s just one tip as to how to make this go a little better: Don’t start your communication with
the word “you.” Because usually blame follows, and blame just throws fuel on the fire. Rather, start
your communication with the words “I feel”, and then use a word that describes what’s going on
inside of you, rather than making some kind of attack on the other person. When you’re talking
about your own feelings, you’re more or less taking the other person off the hot seat.
Now hear me clearly here. This isn’t the time to say something like, “I feel you’re being a jerk.” That’
s not how an “I feel” statement works. We’re talking about a process inside of us, and not the other
person. Something like “I feel angry when I’m interrupted. Can we work on figuring out a way to talk
with each other a little more respectfully?” And then you’re more likely to be spending your time in a
conversation rather than a confrontation.
These are just two small suggestions. There are many more little tips that can help prevent the
normal, human emotion of anger from becoming something a lot worse. And if ever you’re in a
position to want to try some of these out, again, just let me know and I’ll be happy to try and help.
Paul warns us never to let the sun go down while we’re still angry, and James reminds us of just how
big a part of this the human tongue is. May the Lord give each of us the patience and motivation to
let fresh water spring forth from our tongues, rather than brackish water.
Finally, the third category of sins of the tongue is gossip. This may be the single most difficult one
to battle, especially in a relatively small social system, such as a church. Garrison Keillor knew well
what he was doing when he named the diner in his fictional town Lake Wobegon the Chatterbox
Café. The thing that’s so insidious about gossip is that, when someone causes us to feel
threatened, or hurt, or uncomfortable, we want relief. And one quick way to get it is to talk with
someone else about the person, isn’t it? It temporarily makes us feel better to talk about someone
who makes us feel uneasy.
But I’m pretty sure there isn’t a person here this morning who hasn’t felt the sting of someone else’s
gossip. We know how much it hurts us, yet sometimes we still give in to the temptation to do it to
others. This is especially destructive in the church. I imagine many of us know of people who simply
stopped coming to church when something like this has happened to them. When we gossip about
someone we feel almost a conspiratorial connection with the one we’re talking to. It’s sort of like the
comfort of being “in the club.” I’m sure those of you in high school have seen this.
But the problem is, when we gossip we’re in the club at the expense of someone else’s membership.
And if we are indeed the body of Christ, we’re all supposed to be members of the same club. May we
as Christ’s voice on this earth never forget this, and may we truly be a voice that includes others,
even the ones we may not feel totally comfortable with.
I suppose the main antidote to gossip is the inverse of the Nike slogan. “Just don’t do it.” I believe
that we need to be seeking the Lord’s power to follow that directive. And Bertrand Russell once said
that no one gossips about other people’s secret virtues. Perhaps we should begin asking
ourselves, “Why not?”
St. Paul tell us: “Beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything
worthy of praise, think about these things.” If we look, even in the person we feel least comfortable
with, I’m confident we’ll find something good with which to occupy our attention, and then, to occupy
our tongues.
So may we then look for the good in others and do our part to be doers of the Word by
letting our tongues be springs of fresh water that will refresh others with the truth,
kindness and encouragement they so badly need. Amen.
wanted to buy half a head of lettuce. The assistant told the man that they only sold whole heads of
lettuce. At this the customer demanded to see the manager. So the produce assistant went back to
the manager, and said, “Some idiot out there wants to buy a half-head of lettuce.” Just then he
noticed the customer standing behind him, so he quickly added, “And this nice gentleman wants to
buy the other half.”
Well, the customer got his half head of lettuce and went on his way, and the manager said to the
assistant, “I’m impressed with the way you got yourself out of that one! Where are you from, son?”
And he replied, “From Canada, sir.” And the manager said, “Why did you leave Canada?” The boy
said, “Well, there’s nobody up there but hicks and hockey players.” The manager replied, “My wife is
from Canada.” “No kidding,” the boy replied, “Who’d she play for?”
The human tongue can be our best friend and our worst enemy. This morning James focuses
specifically on its power and potential danger in the portion of his letter that we heard a few
moments ago. As you recall, two weeks ago we heard James implore us not just to be hearers of
the word, but doers of the word as well. He began to paint a picture of what being ‘doers of the
word’ looks like, and this morning he continues in that vein. Specifically, he identifies the damage
that can be done by the human tongue, and urges us not to be parties to that damage.
But first, a quick disclaimer. Sometimes a person or two will come up after a sermon and ask guiltily
if I had them in mind when I wrote it. I just want to say right now that, other than myself and my own
weaknesses, the answer, in advance, is “no.” But I will say that sins of the tongue are pretty
universal, as we’ll soon see. So don’t get too comfortable!
I’ve taken the liberty of dividing these “sins of the tongue” into three categories: words of error,
words of anger, and words of gossip. The first of these James specifically identifies, and the other
two are logical inferences drawn from what James is writing. I hope to present these along with a few
suggested antidotes to keep us from doing what James warns us against.
First, words of error. James begins by pointing out the special responsibilities involved in being a
teacher of the Word. He says that not all that many people should take this on, because
teachers will be judged with greater strictness than others. Oh how I wish more leaders in our own
denomination would take these words to heart. Because the transmission of the intact apostolic
faith is a sacred trust. Jesus himself was very clear on this. He once warned that “it’s better that
one have a millstone hung around ones’ neck and be thrown into the sea than to lead one of these
little ones astray.” In a couple weeks we’re going to take a closer look at that one. I’m afraid with
some of the freewheeling liberties some are taking, that the millstone factories have been working
overtime. Our understanding of who Jesus is and what he means to us is not up for grabs. This one’
s long since been settled.
Nevertheless, this isn’t always easy. Because our culture lavishly encourages us to stake out an
opinion on just about any and every issue under the sun. And this in and of itself isn’t necessarily a
bad thing. It’s part of the joy of living in freedom.
But when it comes to our faith, we’re dealing at times with spiritual life and death issues. It’s pretty
important that we get it as right as we possibly can, as James tells us.
So, what’s the antidote for words of error? Well, this is a little tricky, because these days some of
the people who are supposed to know better and be experts, have themselves wandered off the
map. But generally we can take our lead from our forebears in the church. When there were issues
to be settled in the church’s early days, well-informed leaders would get together and talk the issues
through until there was some kind of resolution. This was the function of the Church Councils. If you’
ve ever taken the time to read their works, I’m confident that you’ve concluded, as I have, that their
views on scripture and its interpretation are very well-informed and reliable. Most responsible
writings about our faith take their conclusions very much into account.
Otherwise, it’s advisable for us to go to one or more trusted, mature Christians and talk the issue in
question through until each of us feels reasonably certain that in our coaching and discipling of
others, we’ll be sharing words of truth and not words of error.
This kind of feedback is one of my more favorite things to do, and my door is enthusiastically open if
you ever would like input about any particular issue having to do with our faith. I’ll try to help
however I can.
The second category of sins of the tongue is words of anger. James says that the tongue is a fire,
and that an entire forest can be set ablaze by it. Like a match struck carelessly in a tinder-dry
forest, ill-tempered or impulsive words can have unintended and far-reaching consequences.
James tells us that this is something we all struggle with. He admits, “No one can tame the tongue.”
I have to say, I can identify with this particular weakness perhaps more than any other. I grew up in
a family with an older brother who was pretty tough, and in his boyhood, pretty impatient with some
of the obnoxious behavior of his kid brother. I quickly figured out that I couldn’t really stand in the
ring with him, so I developed a pretty sharp and potent tongue. This didn’t exactly earn me immunity
from his anger, but did make me feel better for a moment or two, before the inevitable and natural
consequences of my actions. The point is, I certainly didn’t and still don’t add any great measure of
harmony to the world by letting my tongue run away with me. In fact, I’m afraid most of us probably
underestimate the amount of personal hurt our tongues can cause when we give them free rein.
James is right in giving this problem prominence, especially as we try to walk the talk of following
Jesus.
As for the antidote to words of anger, there are a couple of hints we can draw both from old truisms
and from some experience dealing with conflict. You’ve heard it said that it’s a good idea to count to
ten before responding when angry. I’m inclined to recommend a number closer to 1000. In fact,
doing family therapy I often advised that, if you even have any doubt as to whether you might say or
do something in your anger that you’ll later regret, you tell the other person that you need to take a
time out, then get away to a safe, calm place for at least a half hour to let your anger settle and think
through to a constructive (or at least nondestructive) response. And then, when you’re in a little
calmer fame of mind, it’s very important, if at all possible, to go the person with whom you’re angry,
and deal with them directly rather than enlisting others as allies by spreading angry words about the
person.
And here’s just one tip as to how to make this go a little better: Don’t start your communication with
the word “you.” Because usually blame follows, and blame just throws fuel on the fire. Rather, start
your communication with the words “I feel”, and then use a word that describes what’s going on
inside of you, rather than making some kind of attack on the other person. When you’re talking
about your own feelings, you’re more or less taking the other person off the hot seat.
Now hear me clearly here. This isn’t the time to say something like, “I feel you’re being a jerk.” That’
s not how an “I feel” statement works. We’re talking about a process inside of us, and not the other
person. Something like “I feel angry when I’m interrupted. Can we work on figuring out a way to talk
with each other a little more respectfully?” And then you’re more likely to be spending your time in a
conversation rather than a confrontation.
These are just two small suggestions. There are many more little tips that can help prevent the
normal, human emotion of anger from becoming something a lot worse. And if ever you’re in a
position to want to try some of these out, again, just let me know and I’ll be happy to try and help.
Paul warns us never to let the sun go down while we’re still angry, and James reminds us of just how
big a part of this the human tongue is. May the Lord give each of us the patience and motivation to
let fresh water spring forth from our tongues, rather than brackish water.
Finally, the third category of sins of the tongue is gossip. This may be the single most difficult one
to battle, especially in a relatively small social system, such as a church. Garrison Keillor knew well
what he was doing when he named the diner in his fictional town Lake Wobegon the Chatterbox
Café. The thing that’s so insidious about gossip is that, when someone causes us to feel
threatened, or hurt, or uncomfortable, we want relief. And one quick way to get it is to talk with
someone else about the person, isn’t it? It temporarily makes us feel better to talk about someone
who makes us feel uneasy.
But I’m pretty sure there isn’t a person here this morning who hasn’t felt the sting of someone else’s
gossip. We know how much it hurts us, yet sometimes we still give in to the temptation to do it to
others. This is especially destructive in the church. I imagine many of us know of people who simply
stopped coming to church when something like this has happened to them. When we gossip about
someone we feel almost a conspiratorial connection with the one we’re talking to. It’s sort of like the
comfort of being “in the club.” I’m sure those of you in high school have seen this.
But the problem is, when we gossip we’re in the club at the expense of someone else’s membership.
And if we are indeed the body of Christ, we’re all supposed to be members of the same club. May we
as Christ’s voice on this earth never forget this, and may we truly be a voice that includes others,
even the ones we may not feel totally comfortable with.
I suppose the main antidote to gossip is the inverse of the Nike slogan. “Just don’t do it.” I believe
that we need to be seeking the Lord’s power to follow that directive. And Bertrand Russell once said
that no one gossips about other people’s secret virtues. Perhaps we should begin asking
ourselves, “Why not?”
St. Paul tell us: “Beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything
worthy of praise, think about these things.” If we look, even in the person we feel least comfortable
with, I’m confident we’ll find something good with which to occupy our attention, and then, to occupy
our tongues.
So may we then look for the good in others and do our part to be doers of the Word by
letting our tongues be springs of fresh water that will refresh others with the truth,
kindness and encouragement they so badly need. Amen.
Bridling the Tongue
James 3: 1-12
James 3: 1-12
September 13, 2009
The Rev. Daniel Tuton
The Rev. Daniel Tuton
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |